Arbre’ya Lewis is a first-year adviser serving with the Duke University College Advising Corps at Riverside High School in Durham Public Schools.

By Arbre’ya Lewis
College Advising Corps

DURHAM – I graduated from Duke University on Mother’s Day in 2018. I believe there could have been no better day for me to receive my degree — because really, we graduated that day. That “we” includes my mother, my grandparents, teachers, and community members who all stood behind and pushed me throughout my entire journey to college.

I wouldn’t be myself if I didn’t throw a bit of shade into this article and talk about the college admissions scandal that’s currently brewing across the elite universities in the US. I did the legwork on my own of course, but my support system helped me persist. Parents, if you’re reading this, I hope you do loosen the reins a bit and allow your child to do much of the leg work on their own. Support your kids, but don’t do them the disservice of making life happen for them and crippling their capabilities.

I needed that support system through the grueling college application season. I had to make sure my standardized test scores were up to par with the schools I was applying to. I wrote a bevy of essays. I had to ensure application fees and fee waivers were submitted. I even strategically planned out how I would pay for college on my own through scholarships and financial aid without a dollar from my parents. Ultimately, I applied to over 14 colleges. Duke was my first choice.

As an adviser at Riverside High School in Durham, I talk about my own application experiences every day with my students. I had the backing of my family and my community, but I did the work myself. That’s how I treat my students. Our relationship is not one where I tell them what they can and can’t do. Instead, I’m merely a tour guide showing them what life has in store for them. As an adviser, I have the opportunity to provoke them to reach heights that they would otherwise perceive as unobtainable. I enjoy leading them to the reality that their future is theirs and that I’m simply a vehicle for their educational advancement.

When I read about the college admissions scandal, I can’t help but think of my students. I am empowering them to do the hard work of getting into college on their own — unlike the parents in this scandal who did their children the disservice of making life happen for them. As an adviser — and as someone who navigated the college application process myself — I see the value in a support system that allows the student to take the reins on their college journey.

I wouldn’t be here without my support system. When I leave my school building each day, I beam with pride because I know that I’m now serving as that support system for my students. My own college admissions experience has come full circle.